What a wonderful Christmas

I was just wondering where I could start to wrap up Christmas.

Utter shit might be a good starting point. I don't know. Family don't seem to have an ounce of appreciation for how difficult things are right now, I think sometimes they just see me as making up a bunch of lies so that I don't have to put the effort in.

It makes me ask myself, maybe it's me? And maybe it is.

One example is my step sister. 20 years old. Working part time for tesco after dropping out of uni. Easy life at home. And comes home to moan about the fact that the wrong meal was cooked for her. I mean, is she living in a different world? At least she can afford and have the time to eat well, her meal gets cooked FOR her and she can come home to relax with family without being looked upon as an outsider- which is pretty much how I feel at times when I stay there. It's nothing against my dad, he is very happy. I just sometimes feel like I'm forgotten about but yet I feel I'm the only one in the entire family to have ever done so well and to be standing on their own two feet at such a young age.

You might think that's just petty. I think sometimes I am, maybe I'm a cunt to be around. But then I think at least I've worked fucking hard to get where I am and have some prospects to work on for leading a decent life.

Right now world issues aren't my strong point, not when my head is buried in academic work. It sometimes makes me shut off from the outside world as my brain wants to shut down on completion of any work. However, the subject of the credit crunch doesn't stop me thinking about moving to America. I feel like I want to get away so badly right now, from everything. Sometimes I just want to break down. But is there any good reason, I think it is mostly loneliness and having nobody there that I feel I can really open up to- it's killing me.

But there's no time to sort that out. I have to revise and somehow get a first class honours, the fight to succeed must continue and I must keep job hunting trying to stay ahead of the pack.

I heard someone say 'appreciate what you got' recently, which is something I have to look to right now. But I think that is utter shit in some ways, because it's so dependant. You could say this to anyone, in any state of suffering.

Just have a great new year.
And make a good resolution for what will hopefully be a better 09'.

It's been a funny year. At one point I was so comfortable I could have cried, now I'm so frustrated I could cry.

Swings and roundabouts.
Peace out.

"That's Life"

It has been a while since I last blogged. Since returning from America its been mental, the last year of university has certainly been my most difficult in education thus far.

Actually, during freshers week I got to go to my old secondary school and hand out some awards, some of my first educators seemed happy for me to have got as far as I have and it was nice to be on the other side of it.

Since being back at university the workload has been as stressful as it has because of taking 50 credits. Since doing my summer internship in industry I don't see much use of half the stuff I am doing at university. Learning about distributed systems and some of the professional development module is about all that keeps my interest going in Computing- I think the Healthcare modules I do are keeping me motivated right now.

THe other hot topic as we come ever closer to XMas is job applications. I have had a realisation that despite all of my hard work to build a comprehensive CV it is all going to be neglected by the bigger companies that want to put me through numeracy tests, group tasks, presentations, etc before even taking a look at my CV. Its even more annoying to find that the people progressing are those that have been able to just stroll through the degree with no part-time job or knowing that people just dont know their technical 'stuff' and are able to bullshit through it.

I think I'm looking at going to a smaller company that takes time for my CV and to interview me about what I know and what I want. Its so frustrating that the bigger companies have to do this, simply because there are so many computing related degrees that they have to filter people out- something I think they're doing unfairly.

But, I guess that's life.

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity"

Something Einstein said. I don't think it even matters who said it but why I should reference it. I think because of the journey to where I am now. You know last week somebody said to me - "you seem very mature for your age? your really only 20?". At first it took me back and then I ended up in a very long winded conversation trying to explain why. In my childhood there were some very difficult moments; some may say they weren't all that big but others have lived fairytale/sheltered lives in comparison, to be quite frank.

I'm not going to use the 8 spinal operations and other various distractions as an excuse, but in the middle of this difficult time something told me I really wanted to make something of my life. A lot of ambition had to come out of me. I spent some time sat down with my Dad and we both knew that I had to pull something out of my a*s to perform well in my GCSE exams. That hard work paid off though, and it has ever since. So there is some truth to that quote, that the mentality game me the best opportunity of my life to progress, maturing early was probably a good thing and I don't think I would appreciate the value of life had I not experienced those things.

I also wanted to take the opportunity to thank everybody who has been there supporting and believing in me when I really needed it. You know you are.

This really is the experience of a lifetime..

xx

“We will, We will SHOCK you”

On Saturday it was the first time I saw an arena football (American football) game. It was pretty awesome too! The arena sold out at 10,500 fans and Spokane took the win by 10- that’s close for arena football. I took a video on youtube-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dM5Hg9tBqZ4 and you can also see the picture below.

When I say Arena football I mean inside, where as some of the bigger American football games take place in stadiums. Like the Seattle Seahawks which are a much bigger team, in a higher league. It also seems that Americans are contempt to be awkward and continue calling it soccer, while the rest of the world uses football. But then again it seems to some Americans see America as the, hence the 'world' cup and 'world' series for some of the 'American' ball sports...

The American enthusiasm for this sport was quite something. They have the same passion for this that Britain has for football (or Soccer, ahem) but don’t feel the need to get drunk and kick the s*it out of each other afterwards. It was almost like something off of TV at times and it took something to keep snapping back to reality. I also spent a lot of the time booing or cheering at the action that I just didn’t understand- picking up the rules wasn’t as easy as I first thought.

Great game though!

5 weeks in...

Sometimes I have to remind myself of where I am. That probably doesn’t make a lot of sense but being 5 weeks into my internship makes it difficult to keep up with time, let alone the reality of being 5 hours drive from the Pacific Ocean. I am so specific about the time to drive to there because a week ago today I was heading to Seattle at 4:15am, and what a journey it was too. I’m trying to think where I went before my last blog, other than Seattle, of course. The answer is nowhere to shout about, but to anybody reading back home you’re probably thinking “lucky bugger, you’re in the States ain’t ya?” and I wouldn’t hesitate to say you have a point, to be quite honest.

I’ve learnt a few lessons since I’ve been working for PAML already. I’m not going to be specific about what, but personally I am gaining a lot not just in terms of the work I’m doing but working with people and the good management of people’s ability and progress. Seeing how the business world deals with that has opened my eyes, and I don’t think I have the weaknesses I originally convinced myself I thought I had. I am pleased with that. I am working with some great people and it’s a privilege to be alongside such talented individuals.



















Anyway, the journey to Seattle started with ‘drive thru’ Starbucks- one of which is 24/7 in Spokane. On the way the first hour is pretty boring, open farmland. Then you make it up into the hills and mountains and pass by the Columbia river, which is huge (see photo). As you go through the mountains and get within an hour of Seattle you can see by the next photo from the car window shows the clouds coming down very low. There’s a ski resort around that area and rain happens often. Sometimes roads close because of small avalanches too.

First, we visited the city of Bellevue, it’s about 20-30 minutes drive from Seattle and has a site called PACLAB - a PAML joint venture. I got a tour of the place while my supervisor (Chief Information officer of PAML) attended a conference (Oh sorry, I didn’t mention that he was driving by the way). Once out we ventured into Bellevue city, which I might add is a very decent place to consider visiting. We soon headed for Seattle and reached there by lunchtime.














The space needle, Pacific Science Centre, Public Market and IMAX theatre were the main places I visited. The view from needle was great, and downtown has a fantastic atmosphere. There was live music going on everywhere around the city. The place really was alive. We got five hours to check it all out, and then the journey back was a long one and being out for 20 hours meant most of Saturday was spent in bed or on the sofa doing nothing.

But to the point, Seattle is a really great city.

Kayaking, the 4th and the golden hour..

I'll be honest, I just had to read over what I last blogged about because it seems so much has happened since then. Although the time has passed quite quickly, it still seems to be something of a blur. Last week was a short one because of Independence day on July 4 and the department let us IT guys go at 2pm on Thursday for an early start to the bank holiday weekend. It was nice to have the time off but it did me no favours at 6.45am on Monday morning when the alarm went- making Starbucks a natural part of the route to work that morning.

So my second week at work was better, towards the end of it challenging work was starting to head my way and I am more settled into the department. I was invited out by Bill my Quality Assurance supervisor to go to Newman Lake on the friday for July 4 and then by the administrator in HR to go out for dinner on Sunday of last week. The day at Newman lake was great, Bills friend has a house looking over the lake with a platform for his boat. I went out onto the lake kayaking, the first time I’ve tried it and I would have had another go if there was time! There were about 20 people there, mostly American families and it wasn’t difficult to strike conversation. There was much interest taken in England and the differences in our society, but most of all our history. I was under the impression Americans were quite ignorant about anything outside of the US and I think that might be true with less educated people here, the point being that many I spoke to at the lake on Wednesday enjoyed travel and either had visited England or wanted to.

On the Saturday I didn’t do a great deal, just went into town and decided to relax. On Sunday I met with Ellen and her husband, we went for lunch in a fish restaurant overlooking some of the falls leading to Spokane river. Afterwards we went to North Spokane, saw some of the faming land and orchards as well as getting some Huckleberry jam (a local East Washington speciality). Ellen also pointed out a few things, one thing being that here a lot of movie directors like the location for what is called the golden hour. In Spokane the way the sunshine sets means it hits the trees in at a certain angle and causes the light to glow from them – hence they look golden. She also mentioned that the reason wheat is produced so much here is because of the silty sediment Loess that blew across from China and settled on the soil.


The weekend passed by pretty quickly to be honest. I was soon back to work on Monday, this week I have been testing web services written in .NET and C# as well as spending more time in connectivity getting to know the interfaces better and how they handle HL7 messaging. Coming up I am going to get another web project and also get to go out and see a patient service centre and a doctors office. I may also get to go to Seattle soon- it’ll be nice to get out of the office and see some more of the setup.

The only thing to say is that someone in the department has given me a bike for the summer. So now I can get around a little more easily. It’s unbelievable how difficult it can be to even get around here without a car. They have drive ‘thru’ ATMs, coffee shops, restaurants, etc. Its pretty lazy and the site of somebody walking is rare, talk about carrying your shopping home. The bus service isn’t all that great either.

Not much more to report on really, each day is just as busy as the next and time is flying.

A lovely weekend.

Blockbuster was my first place of call on friday night. A DVD and a pizza was a great way to end the week, just plenty of relaxation. National Treasure 2 was a decent film- Nicholas Cage up to the usual standard.

On Saturday I spent the day at Hoopfest(pics below) which is the biggest 3-on-3 basketball tournament in the world. Downtown was packed and the atmosphere was great. I spent most the day walkin the streets of downtown that were mostly closed off for the event, which consisted of families, colleges and other competitive basketball players. I was pretty shocked that they would close off most of downtown for what is essentially basketball, but I think the same would happen if such a suggestion came around for football to be played in the streets of london/manchester. It wasn't all about the basketball, there was a fair and all the local restuarants piched tents to sell food, I got a corn on the cob followed by a snow ball- it added to the experience. While I was there I also picked up a bus pass for $30- for one month, cheap I know..

On sunday (today) I have mostly spent the day relaxing. I visited the local park and hired another film, No country for old men with Tommy Lee Jones. I guess the best thing I can do is get prepared for another week at work.

I'm looking forward to friday. Fireworks. July 4th. A national holiday. Yes, its independence day...